Christian Music Is So Boring!

So last night, the wife and I drove up to Ontario to see Rend Collective and Hillsong United, both whiter-than-white Christian bands. Talk about dull and conservative! I fell asleep at one point and knocked the lace doily off my drink holder. Then some nasty, blue-haired matron in a hair bun so tight that it looked like she was trying to screw the top of her head off came over and whacked me with a pointer and made me pick it up.

These things are no fun at all. I don't think I'm ever going to another one. I mean, just look at this.

Welcome to Squaresville, man.